We have all had that feeling. It’s Sunday night. You just finished dinner. The feeling starts in your gut and overtakes your entire body. You know what I’m talking about: The Sunday Night Blues.
It’s the thought that you have to go back to work tomorrow. Perhaps you have 60-plus hours of work ahead of you that week. You may be stressed about an important meeting or a presentation you must give. Perhaps your stress is due to a difficult conversation you need to hold with an underperforming employee. Or your anxiety could be as simple as the morning commute at 6:30 a.m. that you are not looking forward to.
The Sunday Night Blues and the stress we often feel at work come from many sources. The one I want to discuss in this article is very specific and, unfortunately, all too common.
The stress I’m talking about comes from working for a bad boss. I’m talking about a micro-manager. They watch your every move. They do not listen to you or acknowledge your ideas. Have you ever given an idea or suggestion and received a look from your boss like you’re not even present in the room? Would you share a problem or concern with this boss? Forget it!
In its FrontLine Leader Project, global leadership consulting firm DDI found that 57% of employees left their jobs because of their boss. This aligns with the saying, “People don’t leave companies, they leave bosses.”
Said another way, your immediate manager is the biggest influencer on whether you enjoy your job. The good news is that, according to the Gallup organization in 2023, becoming a more effective boss is a skill that can be learned and is not something you either have or don’t.
If I were to coach one of these “bad bosses,” I would offer the following three suggestions that could be implemented immediately and make an instant difference in their effectiveness.
Build a Relationship of Trust
In my experience, working with individuals and teams throughout all levels of an organization, the foundation of a manager/employee relationship is trust. I’m talking about vulnerability-based trust and not predictive trust. For example, predictive trust is, “I trust Johnny because he always submits his reports on time without any errors.” Vulnerability-based trust is when someone feels comfortable or safe enough to be open with you and not fear punishment or reprisal for speaking up.
In 2012, Google embarked on an initiative called Project Aristotle to find out how to build the perfect team and understand why some teams excelled and others stumbled. After reviewing previous research analyzing their own teams in numerous ways, they found that “group norms,” or the behavioral standards, traditions, and unwritten rules of a team, had the most impact on their effectiveness. Google then found that the group norm that had the most influence on team effectiveness was “psychological safety,” or “a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject, or punish someone for speaking up.’’
In other words, if an employee trusts or feels psychologically safe with their manager, they will be more engaged with their work.
Be Clear About Expectations and Goals
As simple as this sounds, I have found that many leaders struggle with this area of leadership. For example, if you have an employee with five assignments to complete this month, the how, what, why, when, and who of these assignments should be clear to both manager and employee. The manager should check in regularly, at least weekly, to see how things are going and to offer any assistance. If there is enough trust in the relationship, any misunderstandings should be cleared up, whether meeting formally or informally.
Show that You Care
This is another obvious behavior that many leaders overlook. Perhaps they think it will make them look weak. I think it shows humanity. As the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
I once worked at a call center when a customer service rep pulled me aside, very upset. She told me that she had just returned from a great week of vacation and was excited to share her experience. Just as she was about to begin work, her boss walked into her cubicle. Instead of asking about her vacation or even saying hello, the boss said, “Hey! Get on the phone and make sure you keep your call stats up!” and then left her cubicle. She also told me this was a typical conversation, and he only tells me what I’m doing wrong.
How motivated would you be to work for such a boss?
Can you imagine the impact on this employee if her boss had asked about her vacation, said hello, or even said, “Great to see you today! I hope you have a great day!”
Some might say soft skills aren’t as important as technical or measurable skills. But a 2023 Forbes article states that leaders need to upgrade their soft skills, such as empathy and emotional intelligence, to be effective and compete in the constantly changing work landscape.
Leadership does not have to be complicated. If a leader were to practice these three suggestions, they would see more engaged employees, helping move their business forward.
At Employers Council, we offer training courses to help your leaders become more effective. Classes we offer include Coaching to Build Skills, Improve Performance, and Develop Others and Navigating Critical Conversations. For more information, please email us at info@employerscouncil.org.
Mark Castillo is a human resources consultant for Employers Council.